30 Before 30 List
25
Sep 2009
When I started blogging my way through this list I had no idea how much life was about to throw our way! I also completely underestimated my tiredness level. I have made it through 5 items on the list in 25 days. I promise I will finish the list, there is so much I want to put out there to see if I can accomplish it in the next 3 and a half years! Please bear with me! I promise it will be worth it!
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Ninja Baby
25
Sep 2009
Things have been CRAZY here! Way, way too much going on! We got everything worked out with our old and new landlords! We have move-in and move-out dates! I gave all my parents notice that I was closing! We have started the loooonnngggg process of going through things, figuring out what we need to get rid of and what we can take with us. It amazes me the amount of stuff we have! That we do not even use! Our yard sale last weekend was a HUGE success and so much fun! I still have a bunch more stuff to get rid of though, so right now I am all over Craigslist and Freecycle.
We are down to just 44 days until Rocky’s due date! Zane is totally freaking out with excitement! When we told Zane I was pregnant we bought him a book about being a big brother! It talks all about the changes that will happen when the baby arrives, what to expect while Mom is pregnant, what to do if you get frustrated with the baby, it really is a great book, especially for Zane! Last night we were reading it again, and one of the sections talked about any worries that Zane might have. I had never really asked him about his worries, since he is such a laid back dude and so excited all the time I just assumed he didn’t really have any. Well, it turns out Zane has had quite a bit on his mind. As soon as I asked him he started rambling off an entire list of worries!
1- He is going to have to stay inside the house for a very long time. (We figured out he meant that if he wants to go to the park, he is going to have to wait until the baby is ready, and babies take forever..)
2-Rocky is going to get all the presents and Zane will get none.
3-He Poops.
4-He cries. Eventually, they are going to be sharing a room and Zane was very concerned that the baby would be crying and bothering Zane, but we would not hear it. Now, I have vacuumed Zane’s room before while he was sleeping, I do not think Zane realizes what a heavy sleeper he is. Also, I wake up if Ian or Zane even coughs at night, so I think we will be okay.
5-Rocky is going to be born a Ninja Baby and come out and punch Zane in the face. I was no help with this one. It is a big concern for all of us.
After a lot of talking and hugs I think Zane is feeling much better. He is going to make such a great big brother! My mother and sister are throwing me a baby shower in a few weeks, and part of the shower is a big brother party for Zane! He doesn’t know it yet, but I think he is going to be really pleased and it will make him even more excited! He is also attending a Big Brother Party at the birthing center we are delivering at next week! They are going to talk to him about being a big brother and give him a tour of the delivery rooms so he will not be scared when he comes to visit!
There is so much change going on for him right now, moving, becoming a big brother, getting used to his new class at school…Luckily, he is a pretty go with the flow type of kid. We are just trying to do everything we can to make things as smooth as possible for him! We were even able to convince our neighbor to hold onto his trampoline so he can come over and use it! I think everything is going to work out fine.
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
The Most Embarrassing Moment of My Entire Life.
21
Sep 2009
I do not exaggerate (this time). Those of you who know me personally can vouch for the fact that I embarrass myself on a daily, if not hourly basis. Ian could write an entire blog about all the crazy things I do that are totally, utterly embarrassing. I have put my foot in my mouth and said completely inappropriate things, made totally inappropriate jokes around the wrong people, and even eaten some really embarrassing stuff. Most of the time, these things do not bother me. Yes, I privately cringe when I think back on certain moments, but overall I find it hilarious and embrace my total lack of social smoothness.
Not this time.
Now, I did not actually say anything, or even really do anything to embarrass myself. It is mostly a random occurrence of certain events that led to me being totally humiliated. Let me start from the beginning.
On Saturday we had a big yard sale. We are trying to get rid of tons of stuff before our big move in 4 week. I love Yard Sales!! I love setting it all up, talking to all the people that come over and just hanging out in the front yard all day! We had a really good turn out! We sold a bunch of stuff and our house is finally starting to feel a little lighter! About halfway through our morning, Ian, Rachel and I were all sitting on our lawn chairs relaxing in between customers. While we were talking a car pulled up and a woman got out, I looked over to say good morning and froze in my tracks. AN AMISH PERSON WAS AT MY GARAGE SALE. A real life Amish person was at my house (driving a brand new Honda Civic?!? That’s a whole other issue…)!! I look over at Ian and Rachel and they are both looking at me with this expectant look, like they are waiting for me to either faint or start talking. I chose talking. I said Good Morning. Yes, I know. Not the most original opening, but I was in shock. At this point, things started to go South.
First off, Rachel started completely losing it.
Rachel- **thinks she is talking quietly, she is not** “Oh my God! Heather, this is like your dream come true! Are you freaking out right now?!”
Me- **whispering** “Rachel! Shut up!!”
Rachel- “Oh My Gosh Heather! It’s not like she can hear me!(**she can**) Seriously, this is the greatest moment of your life! You must be freaking out!”
Me- “Rachel! Stop!”
At this point the woman was looking through all of my books. She had picked up two! I could not believe that an Amish woman was about to buy some of my books!! I was pretty sure we were about to become Best Friends. I had visions of us hanging out drinking tea (do the Amish drink tea!?!) and making pies together. At this point I should mention that her husband was still waiting in the car (the Brand New Honda Civic). I am a little disappointed that he did not find my Garage Sale worthy of getting out of the car.
So, the Amish woman has two of my books in her hand and is looking through the rest of the pile when all of a sudden her whole body language changes. She quickly puts the books down and starts walking back to her car. I barely had a chance to call out, “Have a Great Day” in a sort of desperate voice before she is back in the car and they are driving away. Ian, Rachel and I all look at each other very confused. What Happened?!? I thought we were going to be Besties and now she has left! And so abruptly!
At this moment I look over at the pile of books and realize in horror that on the very top of the pile are not 1, not 2, but FOUR books about AMISH PEOPLE!!!! No wonder she ran away! Between my Amish book collection and my crazy loud sister talking about “this being the greatest moment of my life”, the Amish woman was probably totally creeped out! I was so embarrased! I am sure she is going to tell all her Amish friends and I am going to be totally blacklisted from ever hanging out with any Amish people ever! I was so close!! This was my big chance and it was a giant failure. Do I keep throwing garage sales hoping I will attract more Amish people and have a chance to redeem myself?
We FOR SURE have to move now.
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
The Storm Cloud has Lifted!
17
Sep 2009
My super sucky cold/fluishness is finally gone! I woke up on Saturday with little to no voice and have just went downhill since then! I had to close the daycare yesterday and today so I could get some rest, gotta protect the little one in my belly! Today I am finally feeling so much better! Not only are my symptoms pretty much gone but I am also feeling a whole sense of relief. This moving thing is really feeling like the right thing. I talked to our landlords today and they were so sweet and supportive and basically told us that we have been the best tenants ever and they are so happy for us. I have really been amazed at the amount of people coming out and showing support for us and our decision and it means the world to me. It helps to know that we have so many people who love us and care for us and think that we are doing the right thing. Thank You.
On a BIG positive note, we found an apartment! Once Ian and I decide to do something, we just go for it! We got an idea of apartment price ranges and areas and found one that we thought would be perfect. It seems quiet, away from all the college kids, has a playground, pool and basketball court, and most importantly, is about 2/3rds what we pay now! It is small, of course, but I think it will be perfect! I am getting so excited about being home with Zane and Rocky without all the stress of the daycare! I never in a million years thought I was going to be able to take more than 2 weeks for maternity leave, and now I can take as long as I want!! I am so happy!
More Good News! I found out today that my Mom and Sister are throwing me a baby shower!! I was really not expecting to have one this time, but after some convincing I realized that I could really use a day to just celebrated and be excited for this baby’s arrival! With Zane it felt like all I had to do was sit around and be excited, but this time there is so much going on sometimes I have to remind myself that I am having a BABY in less than 8 weeks!! That is pretty exciting! Speaking of Rocky, we are so unprepared for his arrival it is not even funny! Remember when I posted over a month ago about buying him a few outfits? Well that is all I have done!! Still no crib, burp clothes, diapers, nothing! I have got to get on it! I was really really hoping to cloth diaper this time around, so I have got to get all that figured out! (Not to mention convince Ian..)
We are starting the process of getting rid of a TON of stuff this weekend! We are downsizing from a large 3 bedroom house with a 2 car garage to a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with no storage space! We have so much to get rid of! We are having a garage sale this weekend, but we will probably end up having one more before we leave (in 5 weeks). We are also putting a ton of stuff on Craigslist, and I am sure we will end up giving a bunch of stuff away as well! There is a lot to do!
Did I mention I am super Happy? I am SUPER HAPPY!
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Because I just don’t have enough on my plate right now..
14
Sep 2009
For the last couple weeks Ian and I have been really weighing our options about what to do after Rocky gets here. There is the whole daycare issue, the fact that we are trying to save money, etc. Well, after a lot of thought, we have finally reached a solution we are all really happy with. WE ARE MOVING! We have decided to move into a smaller apartment, so that I can focus on raising our kids and hurrying to finish school! Now, this has not been an easy solution, we absolutely LOVE the house we live in, the neighborhood, the area, everything! However, we have always known it was never permanent. Our landlords plan on living here when they get older, so we were never going to have the option of buying this house.
At this point I would like to add that we have the most amazing son ever. One big worry of ours about moving was how it would affect Zane. He loves our house as well, and he is pretty much soul mates with the girl that lives next door. When we asked him how he felt about moving, he said it was cool. When we told him it would mean we would live in a much smaller place, he asked if he could get a bean bag chair. We said yes. When we told him it meant we would not be able to set up his trampoline, he told us that was okay. He actually seems excited about moving! I think kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for!
So there you have it. We need to find a place and move all in the next 8 weeks. Should be interesting. I am really excited for this step and I feel like any sacrifices we make now are really going to pay off. I have been going to school FOOORRRREEEEVVVEEEEERRRRRR, I am so excited to finally be done and to be able to eventually find a job doing something I love! I am so lucky to have a husband that is so supporting and is willing to sacrifice now so that I can follow my dreams! Have I mentioned that he is pretty great? I am so excited to be able to be home with Rocky and Zane!!
Im off to began calling apartment complexes!! More info to come!
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Hair Loss Epidemic
13
Sep 2009
Everyone in my household has suddenly lost their hair…
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Consider yourself warned.
10
Sep 2009
I write this post hoping that it will allow me to let some things go that I am carrying around this week. Feel free to skip it, I will not be offended. It may lack some of my usual humor. I just hope someday to look back at some of these posts and feel so much better and stronger, and feel silly for spending so much time worrying about somethings that will turn out to be so irrelevant in a couple months. Still, I feel it is important to not only share the good, but also to admit that sometimes life is so unbelievably overwhelming. I cannot be the only one that feels that way.
I am fully aware that my being pregnant is heightening all of my emotions. Pregnancy adds a whole level of stress to life that, even in the best circumstances, can be completely, mind-blowingly overwhelming. There is so much uncertainty. Is everything going to be okay with the baby? How is Zane going to react? How are we going to handle having a newborn again? How am I going to handle a newborn, and working over 11 hours a day at this daycare?! I can barely handle just the daycare these days!
Being self-employed can kind of suck. When I was pregnant with Zane I worked for a large bank and had great benefits. I took over 3 months off and was able to be paid a portion of my salary the whole time. And to think, at that time I was so bummed when it ended! Well, when you are self-employed, no one pays you if you take off work. Any time I close the daycare for Maternity Leave is entirely unpaid and that is stressful. There is also the fact that if I close the daycare, even at all, when I have Rocky, that some or all of my daycare kids may not come back. This job is fickle. I have been doing daycare for about 2 years and I have watched DOZENS of kids. Some for only a couple days, some for almost the entire 2 years. I can tell that I am a little burnt out, which I feel is understandable. I am growing a little human being inside of me and that can take a lot out of a person.
The truth is, I don’t really want to do daycare anymore. It is exhausting. I love kids, but carrying for other peoples children is not nearly as enjoyable as caring for your own. I work 55+ hours a week for less than minimum wage! That is crazy! But, I do it because I want to be home with my kids. I love being a Mom, and I want to be able to be there for all the little things and experiences they go through. However, I am starting to wonder if it is really worth it. Our entire house is taken over by the daycare, kids are always here. Yes, I get to be with Zane, but is it really quality time when there are 4 other kids here and I am super stressed and Zane just wants to chill on the couch?
There is also the issue that I am stuck at home all the time. I cannot volunteer in Zane’s class, I can’t watch him at Gymnastics Practice. I am doing this job so I can be there for Zane, and yet I cannot even actually be there. Parents are always late, so even when I am trying to get somewhere after the kids leave I end up late or not able to make it at all. It is so frustrating.
So here I am. Stuck not sure what to do. Maybe I could get a part-time job that paid me more and only work half days? At least then when I was home, I would be really home. Everyone in our family could relax. We could get rid of the playroom and finally get a dining room table! But then again, who wants to leave a little baby in daycare and go to work everyday? Not me! That is how I ended up doing this job in the first place.
I am sure it will all work itself out, life always does. And now, as I do every time I have a not super happy blog post, I leave you with 5 thing I am happy about. I know that in the grand scheme of things, my problems are tiny compared to those of others, and I like to make these lists to help me remember that.
#1- Zane is learning gymnastics routines now getting ready for the start of the competitive season. It is the cutest thing ever!
#2- Ian. Just Everything about him. I cannot even imagine how much more stressful life would be without him.
#3- Zane telling the neighbor girl that he is going to need help when Rocky gets here, because he “doesn’t have much experience with babies.” The kid is so sweet.
#4- I have a job. I know so many people right now struggling much worse than we are and I feel very lucky that Ian and I are both able to bring in income.
#5- Our President. I know everyone has their own feelings and not everyone loves Obama, but I honestly feel that he has our best interests in his heart. He is not perfect, and he is still figuring a lot of things out, but being President is a really really hard job. I have faith that he is trying hard. When I hear him speak I am inspired and I hope that people give him a chance to show us what he can do. He gives me Hope for our country.
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
30 Before 30 List Item #5
10
Sep 2009
**For The Love of Art**
I can remember being 5 years old and laying in my bed wide awake in the middle of the night contemplating the meaning of life and getting up numerous times to ” get a drink of water”. Really, I was just checking on my family, making sure everyone was still breathing, you know, normal stuff 5 year olds worry about. I have always been a little anxious, I spend way too much time worrying about EVERYTHING. I think my last two items on my list have made that abundantly clear.
There is, however, one activity I have always been able to do that completely calms my nerves. For once my mind can just rest, I can simply enjoy the calmness around me. For me, this is painting. I love to paint. I do not consider myself very good at it, I will never be a world renowned artist or make a living as a painter. But I love it. It calms my soul. I can paint for hours in silence and for that time, my body will completely relax. I won’t be making to-do lists in my head, or wondering about the future, I will simply be in the present.
I took a painting class last semester that I absolutely loved. Some evenings or on the weekend I would head down to the studio at the school and find an empty classroom, set up my supplies and just paint. There is something so calming about an empty canvas and a bucket full of paint.I love the freedom of it all. I love that mistakes are easily corrected, or not corrected at all. I love that art is all relative. You don’t have to like anything I paint. It really doesn’t matter to me. Sometimes, when I am done with a painting, the end product is irrelevant. It is the process I went through to create the piece that is more memorable to me.
One of my goals is to paint more. To allow myself that time to do something I completely love that is simply for myself. I would like to really push myself as an artist, to really see what I have to say. I have painted pieces before that have shown so clearly what I was feeling, even though I could not put it into words myself. I want to be able to express myself. I really believe that all of us have such a unique story to tell, that is why I write this blog. I am hoping my paintings can someday be an extension of my story, another chapter that my children’s children can see and understand who I was and what I stood for. Hopefully, it will inspire them to find something that they love, that they can do just for themselves. Something that will calm their nerves and set their soul at ease and allow them to escape just for a little while so they can come back refreshed and ready to tackle the world head on. That is what painting does for me.
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Smart Kid.
10
Sep 2009
Me- “Did you guys watch President Obama’s speech today at school?”
Zane- “Nope”
Me- “Bummer. Did your teacher say why?”
Zane- “No. Maybe she voted for someone else.”
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Because I was having a hard day and this always makes me feel better.
9
Sep 2009
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
30 Before 30 List Item #4
8
Sep 2009
Or really, Item #3 Part Deux.
**Feeling Secure**
So, I talked a lot in my lost blog about always feeling nervous about money and wanting to be prepared for any kind of financial emergency. Well, my next item also has to do with feeling prepared. I am a very nervous person. I spend a lot of time worrying about things that will never happen. Ian always jokes about the fact that when I talk about being prepared, I always say, “In case there is an alien attack”. Now, I don’t really believe that aliens are going to attack us. (Although, I may have just totally jinxed us..) I am, however, worried about the state of the world. There is a lot of scary stuff going on in the world all the time. I worry all the time about how I could protect my family if there was a real emergency in our town. Last Winter we had a big storm and lost power for 3 days. We were totally unprepared. We had to go to the store across town 4 times to buy flashlights, batteries, water, etc…
While I was thinking about how much having an adequate savings account would give me piece of mind, I also started thinking, what if I was totally prepared for other kinds of emergencies? That is even less things to stress about! (Although I am sure I would find something!) So, one of my goals is to put together an adequate emergency kit of food, water, supplies, etc.. so that I feel comfortable that we would be able to handle most situations that arise. This may make me sound like a total paranoid freak, but atleast I will be a total paranoid freak that is well prepared 
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
30 Before 30 List Item #3
6
Sep 2009
Okay, so I had every intention of writing this Thursday evening, but I fell asleep. I apologize to all of you that were sitting at your computers anxiously awaiting my post and had to go to bed disappointed. Please know that it is very possible it could happen again! If it does, I will do my very best to post 2 items the next day! It actually works out well, part of the reason I was SO tired the last part of this week has to do with my new goal. AND it is actually kind of a 2-parter, so it makes sense to post them both together! So, what I am trying to say is, I was totally planning falling asleep at 8 o’clock and being tired all week so I could post both of these items together! Onto the Items!
30 Before 30 List Item #3
**Feel Secure**
This one is a little more serious than the other two, and it has two parts! The first part, and the part that has me so extra tired, has to do with Money! Let me start at the beginning. Ian and I got married VERY young, and then had Zane VERY young. We have both been going to school for the past 8 years. Ian finally graduated in May, YEAH!! I, however, chose to have another baby instead of rushing to finish school. I am totally cool with this decision. What I am trying to say is that Ian and I have been doing the poor, starving college student thing for a REALLY REALLY long time. Don’t get me wrong, we have always had enough to meet our needs, and have felt very blessed over the years, but there is always this sense of worry that I carry about money. It might have something to do with the fact that we have never really been able to build up a very good savings, and every time our income seems to drastically increase, it just as drastically decreases. An example, I had a great job at a mortgage company that finally felt stable, and then one day they came in and shut down our entire office. Out of nowhere. Luckily, they paid us a severance package for the next 5 months, but I quickly had to find a new way to make ends meet. Then there is my daycare, I don’t even have to tell you how unstable that is. I went from 8 almost all full-time kids to 4 very part-time kids in a couple months. I now make about 25% what I was making a 6 months ago. Is it any surprise that I am always stressing about money? I know a lot of people that are struggling even worse than we are, and this economy has me totally freaking out at all times.
Well, I am tired of stressing. My goal for the next couple years is to do every single thing I can do to save up enough money to feel secure. I have always been really into finance and budgeting, and Ian and I have done pretty good through our marriage. We don’t have credit cards, the only debts we have are from medical bills or our car. We also have some Student Loans. My goal is to be able to pay all of those off, as well as save a 3-6 month Emergency Fund. I can only imagine how amazing this is going to feel.
About a year ago I read the book Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and I loved it. I have read a LOT of financial advice books over the years, but this one I felt was the best of them all. It has a very specific plan for eliminating debt and saving money. We actually started implementing the steps into our budget months ago, but then I lost so many kids and that used up our savings pretty quickly. Now, we are back on track and more committed than ever. Ian has a great job that pays him well that he loves. I am in a better mind frame to handle my ever fluctuating daycare income, and have taken a lot of steps to adjust our budget to handle this.
One of the first steps we are doing is building up a small emergency fund before we begin actively trying to eliminate our debts. This is where our garage sale came in, and one of the reasons I have been SO extra tired. The book recommends getting rid of all that extra stuff we all carry in our homes that we don’t really need. Ian and I went through our stuff and found quite a bit of that! We sold some of it at a garage sale, posted some on craigslist, and have made close to $200 already! Not too bad for a bunch of stuff we had in boxes in our garage!! We still have a bunch of stuff left, and some people that want to buy some stuff from our craigslist posts this week, so I am curious to see what our final total will be! I am trying to put myself in the mind frame that any sacrifices we make now will pay off ten times when we have the security to not have to worry about money so much. It is going to be hard. We are going to have to say NO a lot. This is hard for us, we like to be at every event possible. We have had months where we were out of town every weekend because it was someone’s birthday, or a holiday, or someone wanted to get together and we can no longer do that. Everything has to be well planned and budgeted. But like I said, any sacrifices we make now are going to pay off so much more in the long run.
I am going to be blogging about this a lot since it is one of the items on my list that I am actively working on right now. I highly recommend Dave’s Book to anyone else who is tired of feeling stressed and wants a little more security in their lives. He has a great set of steps to lead you on the path to financial freedom. (okay that was corny…)
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
And She is BACK!
6
Sep 2009
Whoo! It has been a crazy, but good, few days!
Some Good News: I found my Camera! Yeah! Expect many picture posts coming soon!
More Good News: As long as I NEVER shut my laptop off, it is working great! However, if I shut it, it stops working for like 3 days…I still consider this good news though, it could easily not be working at all!
All week we had been getting stuff ready for a garage sale we had on Saturday! (More about that later) I have been trying to clean out our extra room so we can set it up for Rocky, and by set it up, I pretty much just mean put a crib in there. I am still on a hunt for an affordable crib and once I find one, I want to be able to put it somewhere! It is so funny to think that when we had Zane we lived in a one bedroom duplex, so Zane’s room was our room! It feels weird this time for the baby to have its own room! What is even funnier is that Ian and I never really thought about putting Rocky in our extra room until just recently! We kept talking about fitting the crib in our bedroom, and then one of us finally brought up the fact that we do have a whole extra room with nothing in it but a bookshelf! It will feel weird to me to have the baby sleeping so far away!
Speaking of Rocky, I am 31 weeks pregnant today! Which means we are down to single digits! Only 9 weeks until he (should) make his appearance! I am getting so excited! Time feels like it is going by so fast! I am so ready to meet our little guy!!
I have a lot of posting to make up for being absent the last part of this week! I have been extremely tired lately, falling asleep as soon as Zane is in bed at 8 some nights. The good news (well, sort of..) Is that my doctor told me I am anemic, which really didn’t surprise me since I was when I was pregnant with Zane. At least I know that the lack of Iron may of been a big part of my general exhaustion, and now that I am upping my Iron intake hopefully I will have a little more energy. As much energy as a woman in her third trimester can realistically have.
Today was definitely a day of rest at the Graham House. Zane has not been feeling too well, he has a cough and a low grade fever. This morning he woke up at 4am and was unable to get back to sleep. Which means I was unable to get any sleep either. I made us a big pancake breakfast after Ian and I were up, and then both Zane and Ian took a 3 hour nap!! Once they finally woke up we watched a little Planet Earth, because Sundays are AWESOME on the Discovery Channel, and basically just lounged around hanging out and resting. I am so excited that I have the day off tomorrow! I have Federal Holidays in my daycare contract as Paid Holidays, and I could really use this one!!
Zane and I are going to do some more hanging out while Ian is at work. Poor Ian doesn’t get the day off. I think he might come home early though, which will be nice.
I have a lot of Items from my list to add! Happy Labor Day Everyone! Stay Safe!
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
New Post Coming Soon, I promise!
4
Sep 2009
My new post is coming soon, as well as an explanation on why it is so late! It is all related! Happy Labor Day Weekend Everyone!!
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
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