Dreaming My Life Away
11
Aug 2009
I have always had really vivid dreams at night. I can remember being 5 years old and having a dream that I was in my version of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and waking up horribly disappointed when I wasn’t really there. Even today I constantly wake up still in a fog, half believing that I still am wherever my dream took me. Pregnancy has really brought my dreams to a whole new level! A what-the-heck is going on, am I going crazy kind of level!
I keep having the same reaccuring dream. The first time I dreamt that I went into my Midwife’s Office for a Doctor’s appointment and she told me I was in labor and needed to get to the hospital right away. I tried to explain to her that I was only 23 weeks along, and that it was way too early. Plus, I didn’t feel like I was in labor. She told me No, your labor is going to start any minute! You have to get to the hospital! Next think I know, I am in the hospital having the same conversation with a Doctor. I keep trying to tell anyone that will listen that it is way too soon, but no one is listening to me! Everyone keeps insisting it is time, and that my labor is going to start any minute! I woke up before things could get very far, but the whole thing left me kind of unsettled. I had different versions of this same dream on and off over the next few weeks.
The last time I had the dream, the same thing happened, everyone insisted it was time, and no one would listen to me when I said it was way too early! Only this time, I actually gave birth! Rocky was born, and I actually saw him! He looked just like a regular baby, only really really small, since you know, it was so early. The weird thing was, I went home and left him at the hospital and when I went back to visit him he was in a fish tank. Thankfully it had no water.
As if those dreams were not bad enough, I have also been having the type of dreams every pregnant woman wishes for. The one where your partner no longer things you are Awesome, and has decided to just leave. Ian loves when I have those dreams and wake up unexplainably mad at him. It is not so much the leaving me part that gets to me, its the fact that, in the dreams, he is not even remorseful. He is just kind of like, see ya. Like it is no big deal.
Along with the crazy dreams has come a sense of panic. The other night, after being woken up at 3 in the morning by a broken sprinkler, I somehow managed to convince myself that I had wrote a 700 dollar check and had forgotten about it. This of course put me in panic mode and I was not able to get back to sleep for over 2 hours. The fact that I did not know who I had written it to, or the bigger fact, THAT IT DID NOT EXIST, did not matter. I laid awake for over 2 hours stressing about something that did not exist.
What is the deal? Do all pregnant women have these crazy feelings? Are my dreams trying to tell me something? Is Rocky going to live in a fish tank when he is born tomorrow after Ian leaves and I write large checks and then forget about them? Where is Zane during all this craziness?
I miss the Willy Wonka Dreams.
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Too Much Going On!!
9
Aug 2009
There is just too much going on here at the Graham House~
Last week Zane had camp, which pretty much took over our entire lives! I will make a post soon all about it, but just know it was one of the best things ever in his entire life! He starts school on Wednesday so we are trying to get everything ready for First Grade! I don’t think I am ever going to be ready for Zane to actually be in First Grade…
I have 3 new kids starting this week! YEAH!! I am really excited because I was able to find kids all around the age group I wanted! Now I am just trying to get my schedule prepared and figure out how we are going to manage the dropping off and picking up of Zane now that I have found more kids! Between school and gymnastics, Zane needs his own chauffeur. Transporting the kids to pick him up is going to be a challenge, but I refuse to get a mini-van! Maybe when I am 30… (or atleast have more than 1 kid)
I am just about done with my 6 month of pregnancy, and I am really feeling it. I have been sleeping very little and just generally sluggish and slooooowwwwwwww. I did however find the most perfect Maternity dress that I LOVE! This never happens, even when I am not pregnant! I have 2 weddings in the next month (not my own) and I am stressing on how to not look like an overly tired beached whale.
I am currently working on a post about all of my pregnancy dreams. I do not mean aspirations, I mean actual dreams I am having at night that are freaking me out! Also, I am unleashing my list of 30 things I want to accomplish before I turn 30 soon! I plan on blogging my way through the whole list, so it should be fun! Stay Tuned!
XO
heymae
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Party Invite!
5
Aug 2009
Is it just me or is the guy throwing the party really rude?!
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Coincidence? or More?
5
Aug 2009
A conversation that took place between my Sister Rachel and Myself:
Rachel: “Hey, Pat Green is playing at the Senator next week, do you want to go?”
Me: “I do not even know who that is”
Rachel: “You know, Pat Green, the singer”
Me: “You mean Al Green? Is he even alive?”
Rachel: “No, Pat Green, he is a country singer, you know Pat Green?”
Me: “I have no idea who that is”
Rachel: “You know, he sings that song, (singing) ‘You came upon me wave on wave’”
Me: “I have never heard that song”
Rachel: “Yes you have, (singing again) ‘You came upon me wave on wave”
Me: “You keeping singing it is not going to make me have heard it. I have never heard that song in my life.”
Rachel: “Yes you have! You need to listen to the radio, I am sure they will talk about it”
Me: *Reaches and turns on the Radio*
Immediately this is what we hear, “Next week Pat Green at the Senator Theater! (singin) “You came upon me wave on wave…”
**Stunned Silence**
Me: “I guess you were right”
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
Oh Sugar Sugar
5
Aug 2009
Today I had the test that every pregnant woman looks forward to from the time they find out they are pregnant. That’s right ladies, the Glucose Test! AHHH YEAHHHH! For those of you that have no experience with this test, I will try to explain the joy of it. First off, you cannot eat anything sweet before you go, and the test is kind of sensitive, so they really suggest you either eat nothing or plain toast. YUM! That is what every pregnant woman wants for breakfast. Then you hungrily drive to the nearest lab where they give you this ridiculously sugary water drink. Now, when I was pregnant with Zane it was simply sugar water. This time I was given the choice of Orange or Fruit Punch. I was feeling a little feisty, so I went for the Fruit Punch. Then you must drink the entire bottle in 5 minutes. I can only describe it as freezing cold kool-aid with three times the sugar. Once you are able to gag that down, you then must sit there in those oh so comfortable waiting room chairs for one hour. Now, I don’t know about other pregnant women, but I have a hard time sitting comfortably on my couch for an hour, let alone a hard chair. Honestly though, sitting by myself in peace and quiet reading magazines for an hour was not what I would consider a punishment. After my hour was up, which went by entirely too fast, my blood was drawn and I was on my way home. Hopefully my body had no problems breaking down the sugars, because I heard that if you fail this test, you have to take it another one where you get, oh i mean are forced to sit by yourself in peace and quiet and read magazines for THREE hours! Oh the horror.
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
If I had 4 arms I would pick up Your Mom!
4
Aug 2009
This is the conversation I heard in the backseat of my car on the way to the pool today:
Daycare Boy- “That would be so Awesome if I had 4 arms!”
Other Kids- “Yeah!”
Daycare Boy- “If I had 4 arms I could pick up a car!”
Other Kids- “Yeah!”
Daycare Boy- “If I had 4 arms I could pick up all you guys!”
Other Kids- “Yeah!
Daycare Boy- “If I had 4 arms I even MIGHT be able to pick up Heather!”
Other Kids- “Yeah maybe you could!”
WTH?! Maybe? No one says anything when he mentions PICKING UP A CAR, but mention picking up me and the kids are like, whoa calm down, let’s not get crazy…
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Skin and Bones
4
Aug 2009
So, Zane started camp this week! It starts at 8, so every morning I get up, make him breakfast, pack him a delicious & nutritious lunch and snacks, get his gym bag together, get him his clothes, shoes and socks, makes sure he brushes his teeth and his crazy hair and drive him over to the gym. I am considering this practice for when school starts next week!
Yesterday he did not eat very much of his lunch. He ate some goldfish and animal crackers, and drank his juice but that was it. We had a talk about needing to eat so he would have energy, since basically he is working out for 6 hours a day. Now, this may seem like a lot but we do not complain, just like those 10 year old Chinese gymnasts did not complain at the Olympics. Since we are pretty sure we are going to have to move there in the next couple years so Zane can compete in the 2012 Olympics, we figure we should start getting prepared now.
Today when I picked up Zane, I looked in his lunch box. Not only had NOTHING been touched, except his Capri-Sun, but there was now a new bag of chips in the lunch box that I did not put there. Zane told me someone asked if anyone wanted them so he took them, but then he didn’t even eat them! What the Heck?! The kid is so skinny as it is, if he is getting this much exercise and not eating he is going to simply disappear. This time we had a BIGGER talk about needing to eat, and then I threw in the fact that it really hurts my feelings that I work so hard to make him a lunch and he doesn’t even eat it. Zane really hates to make anyone feel bad, so telling him that he hurt your feelings is like the worst punishment ever. Then I made him eat his whole lunch, because thats the kind of big, bad Mommy I am.
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To The Person…
3
Aug 2009
who sent me the Free Condom Sample in the mail:
Thank you, but I think it may be a little too late.
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26 Weeks Down!
3
Aug 2009
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that I look tan in this picture.
Tags: pregnancy, rocky
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Zane Lennon Graham
1
Aug 2009
Zane was born exactly 4 days after our 1 year anniversary. For those of you keeping track, that is TWELVE months, so no, I was not pregnant when we got married. I made sure to wear a skin tight wedding dress just to prove that point. When you get married at 19 you have to put up with a certain amount of gossip, and getting pregnant so quickly does not help your case. Ian and I were SO not ready to be parents. Getting married so young is already a gigantic tornado of change, throwing a baby in there turns it into a freaking tsunami! I was absolutely terrified of raising a baby, I had not even been around that many babies growing up. So, I did what I still do in any situation that scares me, I researched the heck out of it! I read DOZENS of pregnancy books. I learned about birth plans and episiotomies, breast feeding, jaundice, any information that could possibly be related to pregnancy and newborns I devoured.
I had a pretty easy pregnancy with Zane. I did end up on bed rest for a couple months after falling down the stairs at work (thank you workmans comp!) but otherwise, it was uneventful. Even my labor was pretty simple. Zane was 6 days late, and at my regular weekly check-up my Midwife told me I was already dilated 4 centimeters. She said if my water did not break by 4 that afternoon to come into the hospital and they would break it manually to get my labor started! I imagined some kind of water balloon/tack situation. At 4 pm on the dot, Ian and I checked into the Birthing Center and waited patiently while they hooked me up to some machines to track my contractions (which I was not feeling at all). As I was sitting there waiting for the nurse to come back in, I felt this explosion in my belly, followed by immediate gushing of fluid. Horrified, I told Ian and my Mom that something was definitely wrong! Turns out, my water had finally broke, and at the perfect time. Zane always has been very considerate!
Tags: birthday, childbirth, zane
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Zane’s 6 Year Old Birthday Interview!
31
Jul 2009
Tags: birthday, interview, video, zane
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Zane’s Last 5 Year Old Picture!
30
Jul 2009
I just hugged the 5 year old Zane goodnight for the last time! Tomorrow I will be hugging a 6 year old!!!! I cannot even think about it right now. Prepare for tears and a sappy, nostalgic post tomorrow. My baby is so big. In case you are wondering, he is doing a peace sign AND a thumbs up at the same time.
One with Dad.
And with Mom.
I am already getting choked up just looking at these…
Tags: birthday, zane
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
I fell off (on?) the Wagon.
30
Jul 2009
Spaghettios are the reason I survived my first year of college. I lived in a dorm room with three other ladies, and I had one bowl and one spoon to my name. I ate Spaghettios for breakfast, lunch, dinner and an occasional snack. I am going to blame it on the fact that my mother hardly ever bought them for me as a child, plus they are cheap and oh so good. It would not be so bad if I had stopped eating them after I moved out of the dorm, but no I continued to eat them just about every day or the next 5 years. One day I left my bowl (don’t worry, I had saved up and bought a new bowl by then) in some water in the sink. When I returned home our entire sink was dyed orange. I then realized that is what the inside of my stomach looks like! I immediately swore off Spaghettios cold turkey, and I am not going to lie, it was been hard. When I see them in the grocery store my mouth starts to water. Ian has had to talk me out of the canned food aisle countless times.
Just a couple months ago I thought it would be harmless to have some Raviolis. I mean, they are not Spaghettios, right? Completely different! I was totally fine! Then a couple weeks ago my sister got a can of Spaghettios in the mail. She brought it over to me (because she is an enabler) because she knew I liked them. I texted Ian and told him, and I guess he was feeling a little bad for his pregnant wife because he told me I might as well eat them. I am not proud of what happens next. Lets just say my stomach is not in fine shape and there is a mysterious orange ring in my kitchen sink. Now, I do not have many vices. I am not a party-er, I do not drink or smoke and have never taken any illicit drugs. (Don’t I sound fun to hang out with?) But I am addicted to Spaghettios. I wake up in the morning counting the hours until it is late enough to be considered lunch time. When I run out of cans, I crave more. Is there a 12 step program for this? Should I call Cambell’s? I keep telling myself that I can quit when I want to, I did it once and I can do it again.
I just don’t want to yet.
Tags: college, ian, rachel, spaghettios
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Hilarious.
30
Jul 2009
I found this link and simply had to share:
Enjoy!
Tags: emailsfromcrazypeople
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Thank You.
29
Jul 2009
This blog is a great outlet for me. It allows me to write things out, get things off my chest, to let things go and allow myself to feel better. It also allows me to share a piece of my life and my story with others. I absolutely love sharing stories with people. I love hearing that something I wrote made someone laugh, or to hear that someone shared a similar experience. I just feel like life is such a journey, and we are all in this together, so we might as well share our stories and try to help each other out.
That is where the Thank You comes in. I was feeling a little bit sad today and chose to blog about it. Mostly, just so I could let it go. I am one of those dorky people that would write letters to people but then burn the letters so the people never actually read them, but I still felt better. I don’t like to hold things in. I believe in accepting things, then letting them go and moving on. After I wrote that blog, I immediately began to feel better. Well, this evening I received a phone call from someone who shall remain nameless (not everyone wants their name on the internet, although I am not sure why not, the internet is such a warm and fuzzy place…) that had read my blog and insisted on paying to send Zane to camp. I am absolutely floored by this incredible act of kindness. In no way was my previous blog intended to make anyone else feel bad. It was simply me venting about the guilt we sometimes can feel as parents. To this person that made this incredible offer, Thank You So Much. You will be getting some very cute pictures of a very happy little gymnast in your mailbox!
Tags: gymnastics, thank you, writing, zane
Posted in The Kitchen Sink
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