heymae

Dreaming My Life Away

11
Aug 2009

I have always had really vivid dreams at night. I can remember being 5 years old and having a dream that I was in my version of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and waking up horribly disappointed when I wasn’t really there. Even today I constantly wake up still in a fog, half believing that I still am wherever my dream took me. Pregnancy has really brought my dreams to a whole new level! A what-the-heck is going on, am I going crazy kind of level!

I keep having the same reaccuring dream. The first time I dreamt that I went into my Midwife’s Office for a Doctor’s appointment and she told me I was in labor and needed to get to the hospital right away. I tried to explain to her that I was only 23 weeks along, and that it was way too early. Plus, I didn’t feel like I was in labor. She told me No, your labor is going to start any minute! You have to get to the hospital! Next think I know, I am in the hospital having the same conversation with a Doctor. I keep trying to tell anyone that will listen that it is way too soon, but no one is listening to me! Everyone keeps insisting it is time, and that my labor is going to start any minute! I woke up before things could get very far, but the whole thing left me kind of unsettled. I had different versions of this same dream on and off over the next few weeks.

The last time I had the dream, the same thing happened, everyone insisted it was time, and no one would listen to me when I said it was way too early! Only this time, I actually gave birth! Rocky was born, and I actually saw him! He looked just like a regular baby, only really really small, since you know, it was so early. The weird thing was, I went home and left him at the hospital and when I went back to visit him he was in a fish tank. Thankfully it had no water.

As if those dreams were not bad enough, I have also been having the type of dreams every pregnant woman wishes for. The one where your partner no longer things you are Awesome, and has decided to just leave. Ian loves when I have those dreams and wake up unexplainably mad at him. It is not so much the leaving me part that gets to me, its the fact that, in the dreams, he is not even remorseful. He is just kind of like, see ya. Like it is no big deal.

Along with the crazy dreams has come a sense of panic. The other night, after being woken up at 3 in the morning by a broken sprinkler, I somehow managed to convince myself that I had wrote a 700 dollar check and had forgotten about it. This of course put me in panic mode and I was not able to get back to sleep for over 2 hours. The fact that I did not know who I had written it to, or the bigger fact, THAT IT DID NOT EXIST, did not matter. I laid awake for over 2 hours stressing about something that did not exist.

What is the deal? Do all pregnant women have these crazy feelings? Are my dreams trying to tell me something? Is Rocky going to live in a fish tank when he is born tomorrow after Ian leaves and I write large checks and then forget about them? Where is Zane during all this craziness?

I miss the Willy Wonka Dreams.